Why getting married is not the goal of a woman’s life

Getting married

Each time I log on to Facebook, I see a new marriage announcement. Now don’t get me wrong- I have nothing against marriages. My only peeve is when people hurriedly get married as per the dictates of the society.

We are in the twenty-first century now. No one should be judged based on their ‘marriageability’. Now for some anecdotal evidence to illustrate my point. When I told family friends about my plans to pursue a PhD, the most shocking and hurtful reaction I got was from a certain ‘aunty’ who said to me with a superior air- “I know girls like you. You want to study further just to avoid getting married”. Someone who barely knows me is judging my life decisions and passions on the basis of whether or not I want to get married. Such an attitude is not okay and people need to realize this.

There is so much more to life than getting married. Travel, experience different cultures, find your passion, do work that motivates and inspires you, live a little! And in the process, if you do find someone you want to settle down with, so be it. This will enrich your already full life. But having marriage as a sole aim might lead you to miss out on some of the other beautiful moments in life.  Women these days are not constrained by societal norms. They are free to pursue personal and professional goals and can choose what they wish to prioritize. These are all merely different aspects of life. I look forward to the day when society starts to view the entire script rather than just focus on one of these chapters.

‘And they lived happily ever after’ is the concluding line of countless stories and fairy tales. The implication being that getting married is some sort of victory in the game that is life. Marriage should be a new beginning of a lifelong journey of happiness with someone you love. Not some coveted ‘trophy’.

Society  should understand that marriage isn’t a success parameter for a woman any more and stop judging her on her relationships. Women should get married only if and when they want to.

Unnati Rao

I am a hiker, bookworm and a trendsetter. I reject the idea of blindly following convention. An engineer by profession, I view life objectively and practically. My curious and questioning nature ensures that life isn’t boring.

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